The Understanding and Acceptance of Differences

     It is interesting that we are usually willing to accept differences which do not affect us , but it becomes increasingly harder to accept them once the people we care about, those we are closest to and can affect our daily lives have them. I have been in a situation where my own wife, whom I love very much, was put in such a situation where she was asked to choose to spend the holidays with her mother and stepfather, as well as her brother, or with her husband. Naturally, she chose me, though I can't help but wonder why that choice was necessary. There are two different speculations referring to why I am not welcome at my in-laws: my wife's opinion is that they are upset with me for her atheism. She was a firm conservative evangelical Christian before we were married and renounced her faith based on evidence. I, on the other hand, think it is because her stepfather's status was challenged last year when, during the holidays, a discussion on equal rights came out and I challenged his faith based point of view with my evidence based opinion and his authority, within his own household was hurt due to his lack of cognitive capacities.

     Let's analyze my wife's point of view first. Though I do take credit for presenting her with the evidence for a scientific explanation of human origins, it was my wife's decision to defy her beliefs and to break the cognitive dissonance associated with her faith. Her mother was adamant that I was solely responsible for her change of heart and dismissed her own daughter's reasoning abilities only to turn her into a puppet of whoever would be a major part of her life. That is something I do not believe in and trust that she is her own person and makes her own decision. I find that the process her side of the family is describing to be stripping of humanity and dismissive of her intelligence and ability to be her own person. My wife is an intelligent woman, capable of making her own decisions; she is not a follower, by any definition of the term, and I find it insulting, not only for her, but for my pride as I like to think that I chose her because of her strong demeanor and intellect (though she is incredibly sexy and beautiful!). Such harsh judgement, to me is a mere projection of their own behaviors, and their indoctrination of their son.

     For the second behavior, that of the failing Alpha being challenged in a battle of wits for which he came unarmed, the only thing I can say is that they are completely off their rockers if they believe that anecdotal evidence or faith based reasoning is enough to restrict human rights in a secular society. The man refuses to believe that sexuality is innate except for heterosexuality of course. Why? Simply because he is a heterosexual and the only book he ever read (if he indeed did) with the intent to learn anything from it, or out of a need for self empowerment and affirmation of masculinity, defined any sexual behavior outside of for reproductive purposes as a reprehensible act. To be challenged by someone 20 or so years your junior and losing because they are better educated on the subject you are discussing is a complete shame and an experience he would not want to replicate. His status as Alpha would have been damaged and the intellectual honesty needed to apologize is lacking. The man refuses to apologize or face his opponent, probably for fear of having to resort to primal violence in order to prove his point. This type of behavior may have worked in the long history of bullying in the World, but in this day and age, reason tends to prevail, peaceful negotiations and debate are the way to go. He is a dying breed and I am happy for it, the world will be a better place when the might makes right mentality is gone.

     In conclusion, while both ideas are speculation, I find it interesting to entertain the different possibilities for such a ban. It is also extremely easy to understand that regardless of which hypothesis is correct, they stem from a lack of understanding of differing views and opinions in the minds of the actors. It is fascinating to see the mind processes unravel and even spur an interest in neuroscience. So out of this hideous act of segregation something good came out.

Morality?

     Well, this post is not going to be about religion... well maybe a little. Though I fully intend it to be related to life itself and the state of human society in general. I have been asking myself why humans, as a general rule are seemingly contradictory in their instincts and actions. Our instincts, based on evolutionary processes make us survivors, at the expense of others, though our nature is also one of altruism. We are, in fact very well aware of our own shortcomings in life. Hell, I know I am! People who think I have minimal issues only need ask my wife! But I try to be as helpful and inspirational as I can be with others, be it through leading by example, or providing much needed words of encouragement, or slight kicks in the ass. But why do I do it? Is it because of some basic sense of morality given to me at birth? No, it is a learned behavior, one that my parents passed down to me, and, though they disagree with how I live my life, I usually abide by the sense of justice they have inspired in me. I do not possess much, but I try to give everything I have to those who need it more than me. Is that morality?

     Morality is usually defined by a set of beliefs about the difference between a "right behavior" and a "wrong behavior", though what dictates this? Society? Education? Upbringing? Human Nature? All of the above? I believe it is dictated by all of those, though sometimes, a subculture forms forming its own set of moral behaviors; those that are successful tend to change societal views of certain moral issues, and those that aren't adapt, or disappear into oblivion. One must only look at the LGBTQ movement to see a successful subculture within our own. I consider myself an ally of those members of the community, not because I have an interest in it, but because I understand it is not a learned behavior, it is not a choice, it simply is. I completely understand the want to belong to society and then to have it reject parts of who you are. There is no simple way to express the sense of despair that comes with that realization. But with help and time, as well as a well adjusted "give them hell" attitude, one can overcome this depression.

     Those that are not as successful at adapting or even incorporating themselves into society live in fear and eventually disappear. I do hope that is not the case for many human rights -I did not use civil rights on purpose as they pertain to Humanity in general not just citizens of a given nation- I am a supporter of what is considered outside of the norm, so long as it does not hurt those who perform it, and it is between consenting adults - polyamorous marriages, gay marriages, swingers, etc... Those may seem to exist outside of the civilized criteria for moral, but who, or what is it hurting? Does it just feel uncomfortable because it is different? Because the majority of people do not understand the feeling or concept? It is time for society to understand the wide spectrum of the human attraction, and understand that, most of the time, it is not a choice. We all have our own moral standards to follow. Mine, I know, are extremely different than those of the general population, and you know what?  I can live with that. I tend to want to give people hell anyway. To those who refuse to understand that others have needs, be it because of politics, religion, or societal conformism, they need to step out of the shelter of their bubble and understand that humans, in general are multidimensional creatures.

    For those too lazy to read through the entire thing, I have two things to say: It's not long come on! And as a summary: Morality is taught, then developed as a part of the population -even one person- discovers who they are. There is no greater feeling of empowerment than that of knowing what you are and being free to express it.